Im sitting in my chair watching the TV
Its not even on but theres plenty for me to see
I just lit some crazy ass shit
that my friend overnight mailed to me
Im fucking wasted
Its the best shit I ever tasted
I think they fucking laced it
Cause Im so damn lambasted
Oh my friend came over so I packed him a pipe
I told him he better go easy with this shit but he didnt believe the hype
He sparked three bows just to show he could take it
Two minutes later he was playing backgammon naked
Hes fucking wasted
Its the best shit he ever tasted
Hes lost in fucking spaced-ed
Cause hes so wicked wicked wasted
Oh I spent the last two hours
hiding under my bed
Cause I looked in the garbage can
and I think I saw my Uncle Louies head
Im fucking wasted
Well my friend blew a hit into my pet birds face
The bird laughed hysterically and started to moonwalk all over the place
He tripped over the toaster wire and fell on his beak
He looked at the two of us and he started to speak
Im fucking wasted
Its the best shit Ive ever tasted
My brains been erased-ed
Well fucking fried
Im sitting in the bathtub wanting something to eat
I wanted a pizza the bird said Pepperoni would be sweet
Delivery guy showed up four hours later, handed me his shoe
I said we ordered pizza buddy, what the hells up with you
Im fucking wasted
Its the best shit I ever fucking tasted
Oh fucking shit
Im way too baked
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