Mama was the one who reached down and tied my shoelace.
Mama spit on her fingers and used it to clean dirt off my face.
Brush your teeth, Q-tip your ear,
take off your sisters new brassiere.
Watch PBS, not Deputy Dawg,
dont you eat that Lincoln Log.
Oh mama I still dont believe
its true: The tooth fairy was you.
No Way!
I love you maaaaaama,
more than than paaaastrama,
way more than Jeffrey Daaaahma,
even more than my NFL paaaaajamas.
Mama always calmed down dad when he got too mean.
Like the time he almost hit me for stealing his Juggs magazine.
Stop your jumping,
youll break the bed.
Dont you fill up
on the bread.
Take those
Take those
(trying to read cue card)
Take ... carrots out of your nose,
thats not a hat thats pantyhose.
Dont play baseball in your suit,
that Magnum PIs very cute.
Dont forget Vicks Vapor-rub,
stop masturbating in the tub.
Thanks for making corn beef hash,
and putting powder on my rash.
(So much better.)
I love you maaaaaama,
more than golf with Arnold Paaaaalmaaaa,
more than yellow moons in Lucky Chaaaaamaaaas,
Def Leppards drummer only had one aaaaaaamaaa.
Oh, Mrs. Nealon, yes its true,
Kevins gonna sing to you.
Come on Kevin.
I love you maaaaaama
Come on, keep goin.
More than films by Brian DePaaaaalmaaaa.
Thanks for being my date to the praaaaamaaaa.
Thanks for writing that note to the draft
board that said I was gay so I got out
of Vietnaaaamaaa.
Mom your way better than the World Trade Center baaaaamaaaa.
Whos name by the way is Mohamed Salaaaamaaa.
I love you even more than Richard Gere loves the Dali Laaaaahmaaa.
And Richard Gere was also good in "Sommersby",
which was a melodraaaamaa.
Oh, all you moms out there oughta know,
we kids love you so.
Have a Happy Mothers Day.
Thank you very much!
Thank you!
Adam Saaaandlaaa.
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