"Hey man, Im joining a religious cult."
"Now, thats ridiculous."
"Well, Im joining it, so you gotta sign up too."
"What are you talking about?"
"Hey, dont fuck me on this, man, just sign up."
"No, Im not going to join a cult!"
"I cant believe youre pulling this shit on me after Monday night --"
"What?
"-- I wanted to watch Monday Night Football
and you wanted to watch that other show and we watched your show --
I did that for you!"
"Yeah, well, you kept flippin back to the game."
"I WANTED TO SEE THE FUCKIN SCORE!
Whadda you gotta do thats so fucking importnat you cant join the religious cult with me?"
"Well, I was gonna go sunbathing."
"Oh, boy, no no, I dont think you should do that.
Because this guy, Russell -- hes the leader-guy of the cult --"
"-- yeah --"
"-- he was rambling on during one of the speeches
about the sun being bad, like the beast cant come out
because the suns too bright and the sun hurts his eyes or something --
you show up all sunburned and that guys gonna get pissed at you and me!"
"Well, Im not in the cult, so I dont have to worry about pissing the leader guy off!"
"Look, Im -- starting to believe in some of the stuff the cult guys been saying --
some of it makes a lot of sense!
"Well, good, but I dont want to join the cult.
We can still hang out; I just wont be in it with you."
"The point is, Im not gonna have time to hang out with you because Im gonna be fuckin busy with this fuckin cult!"
"So Ill visit on weekends -- well work it out."
"No, the weekends are like the busiest time --
thats when we go to flea malls and fuckin malls and talk people into joining, man!"
"Can I join for just a little while?
I told my dad Id go visit him in Florida in three weeks."
"Well, just, well ask then, but we gotta join now."
"Whats the hurry?"
"Theres a girl I wanna meet there, what the fucks your problem?"
"Well, I mean I dont really have to believe in this stuff, do I?"
"No, no, just fuckin tell everybody you believe in this shit -- when they say the sun sucks, go,
"Yeah, fuck the sun, I fuckin hate it too, long live the fuckin beast."
"I dont know, man. This is crazy."
"Look, theyre gonna give you clothers, a free haircut, youre gonna get food --"
"-- its not gonna be one of those weird haircuts, is it?"
"Its gonna be a haircut, all right?
You said you need a haircut, theyre gonna fuckin cut your hair.
Youre going in, saving twelve bucks, just fuckin do it!"
"Do you think the hot girl has a friend for me?"
"Yeah, sure, and if she doesnt, shell go out and recruit one for you!"
"Well, all right. But, hey, if I dont like it, Im going to escape, man."
"OK, thats up to you."
"The night time is the right time!
The night time is the right time!"
"Hey buddy, are you glad you did this?"
"Oh, this is the best thing I ever did. Thank you."
"Youre not mad at them making you, uh, kill your father, are you?"
"You know, its like they said. It was the only way to save him."
"Youre a good guy."
"Youre a better one."
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